top of page

5 ways to cope with being single: A journey to self acceptance and self discovery

Updated: Oct 29, 2023

Are you thinking of taking a break from dating? Does the thought of being single scare you? Do you think that if you leave now, you will never have a baby, they will get married to someone else. Or that you may never get married or find love again. Perhaps you are single right now, and feeling lonely, and believing that something is wrong with you.


If you made it to this post, it's most likely because you have been contemplating getting out of your stressful relationship, or"situationship". You might even be questioning your self-worth because you have been single.




My name is Larica Urbina, LPC therapist in private practice at Mind Theory Therapy, PLLC in Houston, Texas. I enjoy being apart of peoples journey into being single and helping them feel better about being single.

"I am also someone who has experience especially difficult relationships."

Whether you are dating, or single, feelings of inadequacy might begin to creep in, especially when all of your friends on social media are getting married, and your relationship is not going well. Or, you're in a 5 year relationship with a women who cheats on you over and over, or your just broke up with that 7 year guy you thought you would marry but, nope, he never takes responsibility for his actions. Like many who have been a out of the dating game, you might start having feeling of inadequacy, especially when all we see on social media is someone getting married.


Being single is not so bad after all.

Especially if this partnership, is causing you to experience depression symptoms, loss of interest in doing things you use to like doing, isolate yourself, feel exhausted, crying all the time for no good reason. The thought of separation from this person might make you feel on the edge, anxious and lost. Even more troubling, if you have been contemplating hurting them, yourself, or suicide.

Being free might be uncomfortable at first, but with time, you will find out that you are doing the right thing for you and your future.

"There is a treasure of peace that we can find, within being partnerless."

In fact, being single, is where you can really dive into self-discovery, and even self acceptance. I wanted to encourage you to embark on this journey with hope and patience with your self.


If you are interested in learning how to finally be okay with being single, keep reading.


Let me tell you a little secret...come closer.


Tip #1 - Pick up a New Self-Care Activity

Time is our most valuable asset and why not use your time, focusing on a new self-care activity.

This will train your brain to prepare for the single life by reducing the time you're available to your partner. Some ideas include, learning a new skill, riding a bike, going to the park with family, journaling, drawing, meditation, dancing, yoga, or pilates. The ideas are endless.

If you're already single, a new self-care activity is just was you need to kick start confidence while occupying your mind with new and exciting interests you can focus on besides dating.



Tip #2 - Do some introspective work

Introspection is a fancy action word that means "look inwards to examine your own thoughts feelings beliefs and judgements." This is a good time to start a journal or create a personal vlog where you can speak candidly about your experience, and how you feel. Looking inwards can be painful, and rewarding. Introspective work can help you begin to start finding out what qualities you value in a partner. If you want to dive deep into your self, and do some shadow work, for example and have a hard time finding out what to write about. Journal prompts can be found pretty much anywhere. Some of which can be purchased from Amazon or Etsy.



"Being single makes room for us to find what we really want, and deserve out of a partner and partnership."


Tip #3 - Seek the support of a Mental Health Professional

Schedule an appointment with a therapist who can help you process your difficult thoughts. Most Licensed Professional Counselor are trained to help people heal from difficult and sometimes unbearable relationships. This might benefit you if you have noticed that you have depression or anxiety symptoms related to your relationship. Sometimes friends and family can be judgmental and unhelpful, seeing a mental health professionals can offer a objective, non judgmental personal you can share without without the fear of being exposed to judgment or shame.


Tip #4 - Change your surroundings

Your home should be your sanctuary. I recommend starting with your bed and getting yourself some comfortable bedding. Or if possible, you could get a whole new color, or print. This might have been something you couldn't do before because you shared a bed and had to compromise.

It might sound simple or insignificant but changing things I your surroundings to fit your own personal preferences is apart of creating your independence. could make a huge difference in how you feel. Redecorating a space in your home offers a change of scenery that was once tied to negative memories that once featured your partner. Throw out all of his or her favorite food from your fridge or pantry. When you see them, it can often trigger negative feelings or memories, so riding them might reduce triggering flashbacks.

Taking a trip can improve your mood and give you a different perspective on life. Round of your friends or book a solo weekend trip. It's going to boost your moral and self esteem. If this is not an options, visiting a friend or family member could provide a great distraction.


Tip #5 - Stop comparing yourself to others

Your words are powerful. So do not, I repeat, do not, compare your life to other people. As I mentioned earlier, you might see your friends or family on social media sharing their achievements. But as we all know, everyones life is not perfect, and just like you, they may have had similar relationship problems in the past or even presently. Be kind to yourself by replacing those self defeating thoughts and words you say about your love life, with positive affirmations.


This journey is well worth your time and effort.


Being single is a time where you can be selfish and unapologetic about it. Focusing on yourself and what you want in your future. Embrace the fact that you have choices and that your choice is to be single during this season of your life. With these tips, you will be kickstarting your self esteem, and learning to love and accept yourself.


If you're in the State of Texas and are looking to talk more about your relationship problems with a compassionate, non judgmental therapist, follow the link below to schedule a free 15 minute consultation.

If you want to share how you beat the blues of being single leave a comment, share this link with a friend who you know could use some support. I have made a friendly list of crisis resources at https://www.mindtheorytherapy.com/crisis-resources


Comments


bottom of page